Personality fragmentation and the desire for wholeness

We hear a lot about the desire for wholeness, integration, integrity, and unity. The foundation for any spiritual pursuit is motivated by that desire. The reason for this is simple: we experience ourselves fragmented and un-whole. However, another reason is also just as true: we are core, we have access to our own energy that is holistic and unifying in nature. We fill that deep desire to create, to integrate, to have peace and peaceful experiences. That holistic energy is creative energy, the energy that generates being from scattered parts of materials, fragments, and various other means. We can create beautiful statues from mud, music from noise, and peace from war. But we can’t do this straight out of the womb. We have to cultivate our creative ability through working with our core energies to constantly and beautifully integrate our experiences into a whole. The only way to create is to access that core energy – something I often refer to as source.

But Source was shut a long time ago, and our perception has been limited for thousands of years. That is the matrix system, and it is working inside all of us. There is a lot of talk about new ages and a new awakening for humanity. Those thoughts are nice, but they are still matrix generated programming. We have a lot of work to do, through the integration of our fragments and the activation of Source energy through creative manifestation. This cannot be done collectively, although such energy does encourage the collective and is helpful in that way. Regardless, the most important being to focus on is Self, your fragments, the muscle you need to strengthen in order to be a powerful creative force. Collective effort MUST begin with attention to the defragmentation of Self.

From early childhood, most of us have never been taught the ways of Source, of the creative energetic power that we hold. Most of us are willing victims of social mind control. This mind control essentially locks the core into a place that is hidden from our consciousness. The third eye at that point is completely shut and we lose access to the creator God within (this makes it easy to invent false outward projections of God as replacement), and that is when we fall into the patterns and take on the fragmented personalities that have no relationship to each other and are sourced from outside ourselves (through others around us, friends, television, media, etc). We experience life as difficult and hard to understand. We feel inadequate for life. We feel lonely, abandoned, and consistently seeking for answers in books and other people. We have incessant conversations in our head, usually about the same issues and problems. We look for love and a feeling of wholeness and comfort. We shun love as fantasy or difficult. Some give up completely and turn out the lights. Some become bitter and resentful. Some both. When we live in and through managing personality fragments, we live fragmented lives plagued by fear, shame, and regret. For this reason, so many pretend to keep it all together. Some will seek relationships with others who are able to create some sort of distraction from the chaos and pain of imprisoning these fragments that stir in the night when we sleep and cause us to awaken in dread and fear for what “we know” may come next. Life becomes quite predictable when we live through these fragments, as the fragments themselves repeat their desires, their destructive patterns, their repetitive thoughts and programmings. We experience life as “happening” to us, as victims of circumstances and of the will of others. This is completely opposite to the true core nature of who we are: beings of creation, creators, manifestors, as God.

So, what do personality fragments look like? All of us experience personality fragments every day, when we interact with others, and ourselves. We can also experience personality fragmentation through energetic transfer via some sort of medium, such as objects, television, or other means. Eckhart Tolle touches on this topic a bit when he identifies something he calls the pain body. The pain body is something that is triggered into awareness, and it assumes our identity. We react to it by embodying it, giving it life, by attempting to play its games, and its agenda, usually by seeking some sort of “food” from others such as rage, fear, or anger – anything to consume hot energy. My theory of personality fragmentation is similar in form, except that I do not see that we have a pain body. If anything, we have many pain bodies. I also don’t like the idea of calling it a body, because it is not whole. Each fragment is the embodiment of a desire of some sort, usually lust, greed, or some form of anger. The fragment is usually attached to something or someone that triggers it or for which it desires. Most of us learn to “deal” with fragments, either by hiding them, suppressing them, or by directing them at a particular person or object. Most people blame others for when their fragments “act out”. So, for example, if someone does something that enrages your fragment, that fragment will blame them for its rage. Personality fragments are always reactive in nature. These reactive fragments become part of who you are, as you believe, and so most people tolerate them to some degree, even making excuses for them, similar to the way a parent will make excuses for their naughty child’s bad behavior in public.

When fragments control your life and force you to imprison them, they are as knives of their own making and intention; knives that you cannot really control except through denial, excuse and various other suppressive means. In the end they will cut you repeatedly, until you can no longer resist and you choose to spend your life in the most limited way possible, or they cut those around you, punishing them for not giving your fragment what it needs.

You can easily identify a personality fragment when interacting with a person. First of all, the fragment that is currently in possession of the person’s identity is not consistent. It is very much an expression of a reaction, a certain desire, or trigger. Most people, as I said above, deal with these, by allowing them a little a playtime until it’s time to go back to sleep. This is what people might refer to as “free time”. This free time or release gives the individual a break from the exhaustion of suppression. In this case, fragments use others as if they were toys or playthings. They cannot see your soul or your beauty or complexity. They only see you as something to gain or lose. Most adults spend most of their times managing their various fragments and are quite successful at it. A man might have a lot of women or money or cars. Others are not so successful at it, and feel ashamed by them. The best way to limit the fragments is through energy starvation. This is why many people live very limited lives with a limited and restricted set of friends. They don’t find a lot of women, money, or cars. They don’t like those fragments or how they feel. However, because they don’t have access to Core creative energy/Source, they do the opposite by resisting their monsters. Some will even grow fat and unattractive, to avoid attracting anything that would engage a disorderly fragment. On the outside they are normal, but there is a cruelty and lack of artistic power inherent in this behavior. There is also a deep inner self-loathing that develops, as the individual finds refuge in what they call “ordinary life”. Many find partners who act as the “glue” that keeps the door of the fragments shut, so they don’t have to deal with them. Disease plagues such people in the second half of their life.

I have spent five years looking at these fragments, as I can not only see them as I interact with them but can see them as energetic projections. They show up as two-dimensional shadows. They always seek attention, and they tend to feed off anyone who will give them their energy in anyway. Many men will “cheat” through their projections. They have no control over this, because they have lost their own integrity. Some becomes so insidious that they graduate into “succubae”, vampire like creatures that feed off of sexual energy. These fragments will outlast even the life of the individual. So, when you die, they remain to feed off others. I used to work with a Shaman/healer who told me the story of a woman who died in a home, alone. She was being fed on by these “creatures”. By the time they were done with her, not even her body could hold up and the home was infested with personality fragments. The house then becomes quite “haunted”.

We all know about hauntings from movies and films. Most of those films are false and simply fantasy. We create all of these ghosts, these hauntings through the collective imagination fueled by fear and rage. Those who carry strong Source light through them can see all of this clearly because they are the light. This is where the fragments will feed, and that is why so many light workers become overwhelmed with shadow energy, and it feels as if it never ends. I see hundreds of these beings. Most of them in repetitive tasks, doing whatever it is the fuels them. If I gaze at one, it will turn itself to me and desire to feed. I always look away. I know that, as a powerful healer, I invite these in. I work with dragon fire, energy to dissolve them. I also write poetry and these posts, as it dissolves the bindings that they create on me and others who experience them consciously or not. Many fragments become enraged at me but some will willingly leave and return to the Source from which they were created. I am convinced that when given the opportunity, these beings no longer want to suffer any longer either. I am also aware that people become attached to these fragments and that there are times when it isn’t appropriate to dissolve them. I trust that when I do my work, that those who dissolve are ready to dissolve. I know that I am doing this out of love for the souls who are smothered and victimized by these beings. In certain cultures, this is called soul retrieval. But I don’t work with the individual ceremony, as it is ineffective. The individual that is not ready for soul retrival will block it. I work in pure sacred space outside of the fragmented and distorted environment. Nature knows when the snake skin is ready to shed. Never the snake. When the fragments are dissolved, they return to their Source, and this gives the individual more power back, by which they can work with their core again now and in the future by the Will of God, not by the will of fragments and their obsession with ceremony.