Why the Lightworker Suffers

The location of all suffering is in the mind, and the programs of the mind. Never is the suffering sourced in the actual affliction experienced. I know that this is difficult for many to accept, and it can take a long time to realize that he patterns in the mind are what serve to attract and direct us in certain directions. In this article, I attempt to describe how our own identities create havoc in our lives, not because of the people around us, or society, or anything else, but simply because we have allowed ourselves to become so unconscious and unaccountable in our own lives, that we no longer have awareness over how our mind is configuring our reality.

The human identity in the normal sense is a necessary illusion. It’s necessary during most of our lives, because it gives each mind a way to relate to the world in a consistent way. We see a pink rose being a pink rose in the world. It requires what all pink roses require to grow, and it is susceptible to diseases that all pink roses are susceptible to. In the image of the formulations of the word, the shape of each, we formulate ourselves, and have done so since recorded human history. If we didn’t form identities, our minds would not be able to act in any certain or specific way.

When I say I am that. I am identifying myself as that. To identify with that is to create a unified relationship with an external form. When we believe we know what “that” is, we feel secure in who we are. We feel trust, confidence, and a sense of purpose and direction in whatever form “that” provides. So, people will identify themselves as a spiritual teacher, a doctor, a math teacher, a musician. These particular forms of course will be expressed in terms of the grounded material matter of the individual. This how all doctors are not the same but express themselves completely differently. The more generic the form is, the more freedom the individual has to play inside of it and be creative with it. The more precise and exact the form is, the more difficult it is for the individual to find creative freedom. In totalitarian systems, there are numerous laws for every little action a human might take. Totalitarian systems, whether in governments or in individuals, are run by fear programs that are designed to avoid mistakes and aberrations. This is why all attempts at genetic manipulation are fear based totalitarian programs. The fear of making a mistake is a devastating form of fear, because it is the fear of not becoming the exact ideal of the form that is being imposed upon that individual. But to the individual in that state, it is not an imposing form. Instead, it just appears to be “self knowledge” or knowledge of the “good” and good for all.

Knowledge, in the ancient Greek is episteme. The word episteme means to “stand on”, “to make firm”. In other words, it means to hold foundation, just like a house stands in virtue of its strong foundation. But keep in mind, knowledge is, in its manifested form, not a matter of truth or false. It is a matter of physics and emotional attachment. A foundation is considered “true” if it remains what it is. Well, we all know that foundations eventually fail over time, and great edifices eventually decay.

When a form becomes an imposition, and when the identity of an individual becomes totalitarian, the individual will experience deep and lasting pain. At this point, many individuals choose to remove the pain, not be removing the totalitarian form, but by finding substances or activities that distract them from that pain. It is an unfortunate fact that when individuals are dominated by totalitarian ideas of any kind, they become identified with those forms and begin to take them into their own identity. This makes it very difficult for the individual to want freedom, because the totalitarian form is trustworthy, consistent, and is the only thing they know. This condition is illustrated in George Orwell’s book, 1984.

‘The masses never revolt of their own accord, and they never revolt merely because they are oppressed. Indeed, so long as they are not permitted to have standards of comparison, they never even become aware that they are oppressed.’

George Orwell,1984, Part 2, Chapter 9

It is very important to understand this dynamic, because this occurs within the individual as well, and is one of the primary blocks that stand in the way of achieving deeper awareness and mastery in your life. Most people who pursue spiritual mastery, do not face the things that bind them, whether that is patterns, demonic bindings, or programs. When they do look at these things, they will cherry pick and will spend most of their time looking for such things in others. What they are doing is creating an identity that overcomes the previous totalitarian identity. This is where many people feel the need to help others, to fix the world, to heal others, and to bring light to the world. All of this contributes to the new identity that is in contrast to the old one.

What they are doing is attempting to find contrasting forms in order to find escape from those forms that giving them pain. So, a child that is being abused by a parent or a loved one may retreat into an imaginary world of fairies. Some will find physical refuge in friends or other people who may provide contrast. Many will read books or find philosophies or spiritual pursuits that give them the feeling of healing or escape. Some may seek substance abuse. The problem with this method is that, as they grow up into adults, they will require the contrast in order to feel “good”. In other words, they will continue to attract the abuse in order to feel the joy of running from it (whatever form of running it might take). The abuse can come in the forms of direct abuse from a loved one, self-inflicted abuse, or even friends who are themselves abused. This is why so many so-called lightworkers find themselves in states of depression, dysfunctional relationships, and difficult situations. They do not realize that they are in fact responsible for seeking out the pain, in order to get to the good stuff. It is a terribly difficult cycle that must be addressed. Otherwise, the cycle of pain-pleasure-pain becomes vicious as they grow older and their body can no longer handle that abusive energy. No amount of the “good stuff” will work to fix it. The person will develop all manner of diseases both physical and mental. It will also make no sense to them because they “thought of themselves in form” as a healer or a doctor, or someone who carries the light. Unfortunately, they have been carrying something quite other than the light and have been inviting that energy into their experience. They become addicted to finding darkness in order to heal it.

When we are truly experiencing Source energy, there is no contrast required or experience. This is not easy to accept when we are working hard and are driven in the dualistic contrasting world of mental and physical forms. All deep wisdom is communicate only through emanation. You do not need or require expressions of war, fighting against something, or declarations of an enemy. All of that stuff is simply a function of the pain-pleasure-pain cycle of duality that I mentioned in my previous article Twin Flames: The One, the Two, and the Trinity.

The best way to move forward out of the cycle of duality is to stop running from yourself. Begin to recognize that every person in your life, every interaction, every situation holds the possibility of emanation and freedom. When someone is in your life, they are there to reflect back to you your own energy in their version of the physical form. Pay very close attention to what bothers you about situations and others in your life, for that is the key to your own darkness, what you have hidden, and what has attracted that energy to you. If you work with that darkness, then you will begin to see it for what it is, usually some kind program or patterning that has created an impossible energetic behavior that keeps you feeling limited and restricted in your ability to hold perfect joy and bliss in every corner or your life. Since you called it in in the first place, you can remove it easily without any further issues.

No one can do this work for you at all. At best, they can guide to discovering this power that you hold within to truly heal yourself and enjoy life the way it meant to be enjoyed, in abundance and unconditional bliss.


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