Ego death, dark night of the soul, the drama continues…

The direction of consciousness, the formation of your life, the habits and patterns and “self-evident” appearance of reality is all a function of the ego. The ego is interesting on a number of levels because it is in a way a unifying principle. It is unifying because it allows us to understand “me” and “world”. It attaches to family, friends, ideas, political and religious structures, spirituality. It allows us, on the basis of identity, to locate things as “mine” and “not mine”. It desires more because ego desires true unity, and it knows that what ‘is not mine’ is the land that has not been conquered or controlled. All sorts of drama results from the “other” in the form of anger, hate, fear, and various other lower emotions. Stories of monsters defeated and demons and angels and spiritual warfare are the bread and butter of ego. The ego is very creative in its way of dramatizing its struggle with others, and its war on whatever it feels needs to be defeated in order for its survival. Many egos align themselves with “God” and “angels”, “ascended masters”, “the science”, the “community”, the “society”, the “patterns of old”. They located the others as being demonic, dark, and dangerous. It is an entirely imaginary world, and it plays out because of the power of collective momentum and belief. Ego knows, it pretends to be strong and autonomous, but relies deeply on collective lore and popular imagination. It projects on that basis and that basis alone. Very little can actually be manifested through ego, and that is why all egos together create false illusions of success and superiority and all the other virtues.

In the world of ego, unity is something that needs to be achieved, because it doesn’t exist yet. The ego is always busy making sure that its world is intact, that its domain and dominance is not threatened. It is self important beyond measure, and believes it is god and so resents others claims to be god. This is why so many light workers get sucked into the idea of “mission” and “saving the world” or “helping others”. Ego is very clever and it tries to find ways by which it can control the world that it sees. “Helping others” is a nice of way attempting to control or overpower others. It is sourced in not only the ego’s own fear of being useless or insubstantial, but also in its fear that the others will prove that insubstantiality. The ego has no idea that it has invented the “form” of these others in order to contrast with itself. The ego needs contrast. The ego needs war. Otherwise, it has nothing to fight against, to fix, or to change. In other words, without war, the ego has nothing to do. This is why war persists and will continue to do so as long as human beings choose ego over their true God-Self.

The condition of all egoism is slavery, sleep, and a life that is forever in chains. That is the nature of the karma it is wrapped up in.

The ego, although it is imaginative on one level and very powerful to overrun the consciousness of an individual, is not creative at all. It pulls from old patterns, belief systems, and various other forms in the world to identify itself and the world around it. Ego is more like artificial intelligence, than a true creative. To the extent that many people think AI can replace human beings is the extent to which those people are dominated by ego. The ego plays with “old toys” of the past, dinosaurs, and music forms that have already been played to death. Ego will rely on old books, reading and quoting them, so-called “experts” and various other tropes. It finds patterns and implements and re-implements them. It is great at collaging. Not very good at creating out of nothing. The ego generally believes that creating out of nothing is impossible anyway. it fears going on its own journey, to experience the experiment of being an autonomous creator. But when someone is experiencing deep existential anxiety by hanging on to familial structures and old ways of thinking and behaving, it is time to let go of the ego, to allow the ego to die. Resistance against this death is the source of all deep suffering, and that is why so many creative souls find themselves in seeming irreversible despair. And many have experienced this despair at an early age, either through their parents, or through their own experiences. So many have become desperate and have sold their power into the slavery of the entertainment industry. By the time they reach mature adulthood, the war within them has surfaced and they are struggling with drugs, strings of failed relationships, financial ruin, and a myriad of health issues. They become anarchy incarnate, a wasteland of failed and ruined creative capacity. They were taught that creativity means being successful with the public. But creativity is so much more than that. Creativity is given to us in order to create the World we are living in RIGHT NOW.

The responsibility of creation of course was given to the God of the Old Testament. That was the great power transfer that set the stage of this current age of humanity, the age of Ego, which has lasted for over 2000 years. The ego cannot create out of nothing. It can only use the building blocks that are given to it, like any other computer program. But creating out of nothing is exactly the nature of our true human creativity, our true nature.

If we want to experience our creativity, the ego and all its structures must be dissolved. As a society, this means that the structures of ego also must come down. We are seeing this happen inch by inch in society as more and more people are starting to notice the true motivations of many once-socially acceptable organization, including religion. Ego death is a simply chip of the death of a society that is dysfunctional, diseased, and corrupted. It is a slow process of shedding the dualistic world and the polarity of the self that is in 99.9% of the population. When ego death is achieved, it is a true “rebirth”, the one fantasized about by Christians. When we are born again without the old ego, there is no attachment whatsoever to one’s occupation, one’s appearance, one’s family and friends. This does not mean that one must live as a monk in a remote forest somewhere, away from all possessions. Only an ego imagines it to be that way. The ego cannot understand detachment in any other way besides deprivation. The ego is so attached to objects, people, the past, and lifestyles, that to imagine life without them is to imagination utter deprivation and even death itself. Suicide is often visualized at that point, at the mere suggestion that you are not who you are pretending to be. Imposter syndrome is real, and it is not wrong, it is a sign that you are not living your most authentic life. Do not try to beat imposter syndrome. Embrace its message and consider where you are not being who you say you are and where you are not being you are. Let what is false go and allow the energy of creativity and inspiration and love emerge through you, not because of you.

In ego death, your consciousness is freed from the lower frequencies that once occupied you. These frequencies are low because they are form, in terms of dense matter, and the physical bodies and needs of those around you. These are designed to keep you there and to keep you from advancing in your journey. This world is a simulation, and it has infinite time to wait for you to figure it out. The longer you stay in ego, the more lives you will experience, over and over again, the same thing. So many people have come to believe that consistency is proof of reality. No, consistency is a demonstration of trying to do the same thing over and over again, with the expectation of different results. We repeat behaviors because we get something from them that needs to be constantly replenished. We have become trained to chase that carrot on a stick. But when we are release the ego, we are in a state where we no longer need to do anything except what is asked of us right now. We aren’t “chasing” things. Why chase what we already have? This is pure acceptance, and acceptance of doing what needs to be done, in whatever way it may turn out.

I have attempted to describe, in a brief fashion, the nature of ego and ego death. There probably as many stories and dramatizations around this as there are imaginations of human beings. Ego death is not a matter of free choice. It does happen when it is ready to happen. If you struggle against it, you will experience a great deal of pain, and you will feel as if you are victim and that life doesn’t work the way you want it to. Life doesn’t work the way ego wants. What a surprise! This is a great realization, as it is the beginning of the deeper realization that the ego, namely you, is not in control, nor has the free will it thinks it does. And yet, it does feel the light, however dim, of autonomy, of the possibility of freedom. Perhaps that inner knowing makes you angry at your slavery. Maybe you blame your parents, or friends, or culture or politics for the lack of freedom you have. Perhaps you only blame yourself. But that is ego as well, always blaming someone for its problems. You will get through that too. This too shall pass, as all things ego pass.

Blessings XO.

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