Feminine Ego: Queen of Hearts, Queen of Illusion, Goddess of Despair

I was given a character presentation last night, as a vision. I have these visions frequently, but I haven’t written them or described them in this blog, mostly because they are highly unusual and quiet a challenge to write about. Imagine having the vision of a goddess and how they, as programmatic forms transmitted through telepathy and television, manage to find their way through the energetic space of every human being who has eyes to see her and allow her in! Well, that is what goes on. This article is my first attempt to write about the “goddess” that I witnessed in my vision. These visions are designed to help me identify various forms of ego and to dismiss them. The reason for doing this is to remove everything in life that is not Self. The only way one can do this, is to remove the false selves or the egoic structures.

In this vision, I saw the evolution of a queen who appeared very similar to the Queen of Hearts. Her energy was also one of teacher, goddess, and ruler. It is important to realize that the human form, through the physical action, the words, and the emotional expression is always sourced in a programmatic form of character identity. The Greek word for goddess is thea, which means “vision” or “idea”, as in theory or theater. Our personas are amalgams of pre-set and pre-configured personalities that are in fact limited in number, but not limited in the number of their permutations. These permutations make it difficult to identify the true form of these personas. People relate to them as “people”. This is why angels in the Bible are sometimes identified as human, and at other times are identified as beings that are beyond human. Some only show up in dreams and visions; others only through words and invisible thoughts.

These personas are animated through our participation in life and are yet regulated through the overarching persona that the ego recognizes as “me”. The rest of the personas are usually dormant and are only allowed to emerge in the context of “sometimes me” or “another part of me”. People who take drugs and alcohol always run the risk of breaking the rules and boundaries set by the overarching ego – this is what often leads to mental breakdowns, insanity, and ultimate destruction of the overarching personality. For this reason, I caution against using any form of drug of any kind to “open doors of consciousness” unless you really want to receive what your energetic body and mind is not ready nor capable of handling. If you are ever dealing with a guide or teacher that advocates the use of plant or synthetic drug use for spiritual awakening, I highly recommend that you stay away as far as possible.

Back to the vision.

In the vision I had last night, I saw the teacher, or the one who seduces with a truth of which she identifies. It is not enough for her to have this truth for herself. She wants it to be beautiful and desirable for all. The teacher believes that what she has to say must fit everyone else, or some of everyone else – otherwise she wouldn’t think she could teach. Every single human on the planet has an aspect of her within their energetic field; although not all hold her as the overarching ego, and the primary mover. In this case however, in my vision, I saw how she is as herself, uninhibited and determined to establish herself as not only real, but as ultimately the source of all beauty and peacefulness herself.

In my vision, the teacher was presented as female energy. She appears at first as a friend, as someone you can trust and confide in, and even someone you are willing to risk time and money to support or help. She is even capable of pulling the feminine away from her masculine energy, and so is able to split the personality into two. This makes her victims even weaker, because they lose their masculine powers, which are of manifestation and substantiation in the real. When this happens, her female followers do not notice, but are eager to help support her. She hasn’t emerged yet as the queen, but she is instead the queen playing the peasant. In that state, she is always focused on making friends and connections. She is always looking for energy to learn and feed from. She enjoys seducing others, in various ways, to come and see what she believes is her home. This home she possesses is extremely peaceful, close to the blue ocean, isolated and yet close enough to hear those who are cheering her grandness. She is Aphrodite, as an aphrodisiac. She needs others to hear how great she is, and yet at the same time, how far away she is from them – and gladly so. She is attached to them as much as they are attached to her. She won’t admit that because she doesn’t like that part of herself.

She is a very difficult energy – she wants women around her, so that she can feel loved and adored; and yet she wants to be superior above them. She wants to attract a masculine mate with her beauty, but she needs to maintain her lack of need for him. She is clearly a form of goddess energy and embodies perfectly the duality of the ego that she represents, both hating and desiring the presence of others. She cannot reconcile this energy through her human interactions; and so she hides not only the contradiction, but the suffering that it generates as well. Only those who become close to her, or those who are intuitive enough to see her, know her secrets. Many who find out the truth, realize that her ideals were lies designed to ensnare them in her game; and they unfortunately find themselves as broken caricatures of her design. There is tremendous suffering that results from her illusions. I cannot emphasize this enough. She is a condition of this age.

The masculine energies fall far below her. They capitulate and they do not rise.

To most who see her, she can appear quite kind, if it suits her purposes. Her main aim is to entice others to believe in how she wants her world to be, and her position in it. She will fall into any method, language, and presentation as long as it helps her establish herself and promote her ‘brand’. And in establishing herself as teacher, as one who holds the keys to this concocted wisdom, she will spare no amount of energy in communicating its benefits to others, so that they unquestionably follow her.

She either desires to hold enormous wealth, or actually holds enormous wealth. She spends much of her time learning new things in order to acquire more and more methods of attraction. The more people are attracted to her presentation, the more money she can gather in. She is in love with her own construction, both the object and means of her desires. She sees herself through ego, as someone who has what everyone wants.

And yet, there will come a day when she eventually abandons all of her followers. This will happen when she achieves what she wants, which is to be completely alone, or with others who wish similar. Here departure will either come at her physical death falsified or true; or it will come when her image grows weaker, eventually falling into forgetfulness. Some become completely abandoned by their followers because they become a monstrosity. She doesn’t like humanity or any aspect of her that is human, simply because what is human cannot conform to her ideals. Her ideals are no match for what most people can actually achieve, and she explains this situation by allowing herself to imagine that there is a hierarchy of some form, whether financial or otherwise in which she must place herself at the top. This also means that she must conceal truth from herself and others, all signs of what she sees as lower humanity. She always removes the head from the body, and she must do this even though it never really happens at all. She completely and utterly, at the end of it all, disfigures and maims her own image. She no longer cares.

In the world of this queen, what doesn’t seem to happen, never happens; what does happen, is what she herself dictates; and that is the only reality she wants to concern herself with. Many women fall into this goddess energy, so don’t be alarmed if you recognize any of it in your life. The vision didn’t leave me hanging, however. The way to avoid the Queen of Hearts is to make sure that you allow yourself to see who she is – do not be fooled to thinking that she holds any true power at all. If you believe in her, you will suffer. If you learn to see her for what she is, she will depart, back into the place from which she came, dissolved in her own absurdity.


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