Where My Soul Song Can Sigh

how long have I been carrying this world?
I cannot know answers that I’ve never heard
but it seems like it began lifetimes ago.

for I have created its art with my struggles,
the woes of those who similar have suffered
friends who enjoy the agony that’s my mother.

yet by this heaviness my arms are now giving,
all the universe is tumbling to its sinking
landing into those who in gravity will stay.

I cannot remember the soul fragments felled
for I never saw the whole I once eagerly held
eyes never seeing truth, by salty tears swelled

but now I’ve lost all my effort and my will
to advertise this my pain, to decorate my kills
so here I alone remain wondering, floating, still

being from where I imagine the monsters receding
light receiving whatever my dark ocean did hide
that I long to be where my soul song can sigh

Dreams of a Child

I can barely look upon what I was yesterday or years ago
though I believed by angels the pretty masks were worn
and I’d entertain them with poems to imitate their beauty
yet I was never any of them, not light, not even shadows
just a child’s dream, we adults are but dreams of a child

neither the dusk nor the rosy dawn nor the ghost was I
yet so many lies have filled my heart and feeble mind
I told myself in smiles that betrayed a true lover’s kind,
wiles more cunning than the rising and the falling stars,
identity more consistent than a sun’s eternal repertoire,
making me feel like being alive was half a lonely rhyme

soon will be the day of judgment and my kingdom come
a turning of the tide will arise against my makeshift home
to fall as the walls of towers in the great Flood’s storm
for the wild storm is my heart and soul writhing in pain
trying to pour Love into dreams too imaginary to contain.